


Like this

by bisshori



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Seo Youngho | Johnny, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beta Kim Doyoung (NCT), Biting, Bottom Kim Jungwoo (NCT), Cheating, Dom Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Humiliation, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omorashi, Pet Names, Pet Play, Public Humiliation, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Smut, Sub Kim Jungwoo (NCT), Top Seo Youngho | Johnny, alpha Kim Jungwoo (NCT)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 17:31:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19114426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisshori/pseuds/bisshori
Summary: Jungwoo never wanted to present as an alpha. He can't force himself to act in a way that would satisfy his parents, his partner and stop his friends from worrying. He is unable to do it on his own.On the night of his and his partner’s anniversary Jungwoo ends up in the bar, way too drunk and way too sad, calling his friends on impulse, which finally helps him to figure out some things.





	Like this

Jungwoo never wanted to be an alpha. Throughout the first years of his life, everyone was telling him that he would end up as an omega, maybe a beta if he was lucky. And honestly, he wouldn't mind that. He would be so much happier that way, but apparently, the universe just loved fucking with him. It wasn't just this one thing. Jungwoo could swear that every decision that he ever made turned out to be bad and really, how unlucky can he be.  
On his sixteenth birthday, when he was already mentally prepared to present as an omega, even hearing how his parents were talking about which alpha or beta he should start going out with, he... Turned out to be something completely different from what everyone was expecting.  
He was disappointed himself, not being able to imagine how he could fit into the stereotypical alpha role. He wasn't aggressive, he wasn't a born leader and he wasn't able to control other people well. Even his voice, appearance and a rather light scent made him look less like an alpha. 

But, after he presented, there wasn't really anything that he could do. He couldn't change it, after all, so he decided that if he tried and forced himself enough he would be able to just be better. Act how he should, how his parents expected him to act and maybe they would be proud of him for once.  
Because even before his birthday he never really got much love from them, he never truly felt like they were a family. Between constant fighting, screaming and them reminding him practically every day how much of a failure he was, Jungwoo was really glad and happy when he was finally able to leave. He was able to find a job after university and move into a small flat which was completely enough for him. He was finally able to relax to some extent and ignore his past problems. Of course, they never disappeared but Jungwoo was already used to keeping everything to himself. He never told anyone how much he was struggling, how much he wasn't able to pretend just so he could fit into the stereotype. Because of that, he couldn't be really happy. 

Especially after he ended up in a relationship.  
It wasn't his partner’s fault because really, Ten was practically perfect, it was just his own demons and insecurities haunting him on every step. Even when he wanted to, he felt that it wasn't right. That he shouldn't be with an omega, even if everyone was telling him that since he presented.  
He felt awful because of that. On top of disappointing his parents and Ten, he had to lie to his friends for many years. Every time he was down, refusing to go out with them, brushing off their concerned expressions and how much they were worried and just wanted to help... Jungwoo just pretended that he was okay, that he was happy and that Doyoung or Johnny shouldn't be concerned about him. It would always hurt him and make him feel even more pathetic. 

Letting out a quiet sigh, the brunette gripped the steering wheel a bit harder. His teeth were tugging harshly at his bottom lip to the point of drawing blood, but at this point, he couldn't care less about that. His car was already parked in front of his apartment but no matter what he couldn't force himself to go there. To greet Ten, who was probably finishing the dinner that they were supposed to have to celebrate their two years together, to look at him and pretend that he was just as happy.  
They should spend this evening together, doing all the sweet, couple things that the older was probably expecting. They were together, after all, it was just Jungwoo’s fault for being a failure, someone who wasn't worth dating, which Ten didn't deserve. 

Biting down a quiet whimper, Kim tried to calm himself down, hearing how fast and ragged was his breathing. His hands were shaking slightly which wasn't something unusual. With the constant stress, neverending guilt and depressing thoughts he was becoming more and more paranoid, sometimes stressed to the point of crying. 

But he couldn't do that today. He promised his partner that he wouldn't be late, so finally, after a couple of minutes, he was able to rub his eyes with his hands getting out of the car. Taking a dark red bag from the passenger seat, which had a pretty necklace that he had picked out for Ten some time ago, Jungwoo started to slowly walk to the lift that took him to one of the top floors.  
It's not like he didn't want to see Ten. In different circumstances, he was pretty sure that they could be just very good friends, but... Being lovers just didn't feel right. He should have ended it a long time ago, or even better - never ask the Thai male out. He was ashamed of that, but he did it mostly because of his parents that were constantly telling him to find someone.

Letting out a tired sigh, Jungwoo forced himself to smile softly right after stepping inside the familiar flat. Hearing quiet steps and smelling the sweet, sugary scent, he wasn't surprised when Ten appeared right in front of him. Hugging him, the smaller male smiled at him sweetly before kissing him gently on the lips which just made Jungwoo feel even more guilty. He shouldn't be lying to Ten. He deserved a better mate, someone that could make him happy. 

”Hi, Tennie. How was your day?” Jungwoo asked quietly, hugging the shorter back after a second of hesitation. They stayed like this for a moment, the omega relaxing more and leaning onto the brunette. 

”It was okay... We didn't have many customers so I was able to close everything quickly and prepare us a nice dinner” Ten answered, his voice slightly muffled from where he was pressing his face into the younger’s chest. 

”Thank you, baby... I bought you something, do you want to see it?” Kim said after a moment, pressing a light peck to the other’s head. Slightly backing off, Jungwoo passed his partner the pretty bag, looking at him with a smile. Not wasting time, Ten took the present, nearly closing his eyes because of how much he was smiling. Thanking the younger many times, he pulled him into another kiss, asking him to help him with the necklace, before they could both make their way to the finding table.  
It was practically completely full, Ten really tried to make this evening as nice as he could. Between a couple of candles and a small bouquet of flowers Jungwoo could see many different dishes that the omega made for them, along with buying a bottle of wine. 

”Everything looks great, thank you Tennie” Jungwoo breathed out, pecking the smaller’s cheek. Backing off practically immediately after that, he took one of the seats. Even though he should really be happy and grateful, the only thing that he wanted to do now was to lie down on the bed, wrapped up in a warm blanket and just ignore everyone. He just felt sad, needed someone to take care of him, even though he shouldn't. He was supposed to be the one worrying about others, instead of being weak. 

”...Woo? Jungie?” suddenly hearing his name, Kim finally looked up from his empty plate. Locking eyes with a clearly confused and worried Ten, the boy felt bad for ignoring his partner like that. He did it too often, even though he never meant it. 

”Oh, yeah... Sorry, I had a long day at work” Jungwoo mumbled apologetically, rubbing his temples before reaching out with his slightly trembling hand to grab one of the spoons, starting to put some food onto his plate. He tried to distract himself with the dinner and Ten’s talking. The omega started telling him about his day, what customers visited the store where he was working or about the puppy he met in front of their flat.  
Jungwoo tried to talk as well, but he couldn't really focus on anything apart from the constant, unpleasant weight of his thoughts that prevented him from relaxing at least for a bit. 

The dinner went by quite quickly. Jungwoo was glad for that since he really wasn't in the mood to pretend that he was feeling perfectly fine.  
Getting up first, he started cleaning up all the dishes and focusing on washing them. He was hoping that after that he would just be able to go to sleep and stop worrying about everything. However, just when he was finishing, he felt Ten’s arms around his waist and the warmth of the smaller body against his back. 

”Jungie?” the omega practically purred, pressing light kisses to the pale skin of his neck. In the same time, he started to unbutton Jungwoo’s dress shirt, running his hands over the expense of his chest.  
Instead of answering, the brunette took in a small breath, trying to think how should he react. He felt just horrible for that, but usually he tried to avoid situations like this. He didn't know how to take care of Ten, how to make him feel good and how to act. Even if the smaller never said anything, Jungwoo was clearly able to see that more often than not he wasn't completely satisfied with their sex life. ”I was thinking... You're so tense lately, maybe I can do something to help you?” the Thai male said quietly, smilling slightly when he felt Jungwoo resting a bit against his chest.  
He took this as an permission to pop the last button open, revealing the younger’s toned chest and stomach. 

”Ten I... I don't really want it. I'm sorry, I can't... ” the brunette started when the older turned him around, kneeling right in front of him, starting to press his lips against the small bulge in the other’s dress pants. Hearing the quiet words, Ten froze in place, looking up at his partner with confusion and hurt. 

”Oh...” the omega sighed, backing off slowly, clearly not knowing how to act, especially when the younger didn't say a word, looking straight at one of the walls. ”Jungwoo if... You know that if something is wrong you can tell me that, right?” he started, and Jungwoo just wanted to stop him. He didn't want to have this talk right now and feel even more guilty. ”I feel like we've been more distant lately and I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to feel like you're with everything on your own, because you'll always have me.” 

”Ten, I'm fine. I don't... I'm just not in the mood, I'm really sorry. I think I need to... To go on a walk. By myself ” the younger said quietly, trying not to look at his partner. He didn't want to see his surely disappointed, tired expression. He felt awful about lying, but he just couldn't bring himself to tell the truth about how he was actually feeling. That's why he decided to just leave, buttoning up his shirt, grabbing his shoes and his coat. He knew that leaving the older by himself was a bad idea and just made him look even more pathetic, but as soon as he walked out of the whole building he could feel the tears building up in his eyes which he didn't want the omega to see.

**Author's Note:**

> My Twitter — [_autumnflavors](https://mobile.twitter.com/_autumnflavors)
> 
> Or my curious cat — [-junguwu](https://curiouscat.me/-junguwu)


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